An Open Letter to Justin Bieber About His New Kittens
They're cute to post on Instagram, and they're also a TON of work. You'd better be up for it.
Dear Justin Bieber and wife: First of all, congratulations on your new fur babies! They're absolutely adorable, as all kittens are. Obviously, I'm taking a shot in the dark here...but do I spot not one, but TWO Savannah kittens? *Side note: Savannah cats are hybrid cats; they're part Serval and part domestic.*
Savannahs are beautiful animals. I can attest to this because I, too, have one. His name is Rigby. He's 5-years-old and he's an F5. (Savannahs are ranked from F1 and up, based on how many generations removed they are from the serval)
And I'll tell you this right meow, Biebs - he is a HANDFUL-AND-A-HALF. One time, he pushed the screen out of our upstairs window and meandered onto the roof.
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I see that you have not one, but TWO kittens. Here's a video of our Savannah going at it with our cat from the Humane Society, so I can only imagine what TWO Savannahs would be like.
There's also a good chance that you'll need to tape your crock pot shut and keep chicken locked up, because these cats LOVE MEAT.
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And I can promise you, they WILL keep you up ALL NIGHT. Like newborn babies. Except they don't want to eat, they want to PLAY.
I have no doubt that you've got help because, well, you're rich and famous. You're married now, too, so I hope that your wife has that gentle motherly touch with the cats.
They're adorable, beautiful animals, but they are a LOT of work. More than your average domestic cat. It took me four years to train our Savannah cat. He would steal chicken off our plates, run out every open door, swat at my son, etc. He's five now and very well behaved, but he still has his moments. And you have not one, but TWO.
We've all heard the story about your pet monkey who is now living (and adjusting badly) at a zoo in Germany. You obviously have a penchant for exotic animals; I can only hope that you have more dedication to these cats than you did to O.G. Mally, because we haven't forgotten about him. His name...is O.G. Mally.
Say his name, Biebs. SAY IT!
Sincerely,
AJ
(fellow Savannah owner)