5 Things Flint Wouldn’t Want Seen By ‘Object’ From Lake Huron
Over the last week, the US has shot several objects out of the sky. Most recently one over Lake Huron. Before that, one over norther Canada and of course the "weather balloon" over the US (we know it was a spy balloon with equipment the size of three busses attached) ... it made me think, "What if it flew over Flint, MI? What would we not want them to see?" These are the first five things that came to mind.
5 Things Flint, MI Wouldn't Want An 'Object' or Balloon To See from Lake Huron
- "Street Walkers" or "Ladies of the Night." (To be fair, this could be men or women.) Certain pockets of Dort Highway around Flint have a few "opportunists" depending on shift changes at plants or after the bars close. We wouldn't want them to think we're all okay with this. That type of activity belongs on TikTok, which the US government already believes to be a Chinese spying tool.
- Flint Style Coneys. The recipe of ground meats and (usually) unused animal body parts is strangely delicious. This is strictly reserved for Flint area natives and tourists.
Popular Foods Started In Flint & Michigan
- Koegel Meats. Of course, this could be lumped into #2, but it deserves its own top-secret status. No foreign government needs to know how many Koegel Vienna Hot Dogs we consume every summer. This 100+ year-old Flint-Famous company needs to be hidden from prying eyes.
- Flint's Weather Ball. This one might seem obvious. If the Chinese government learns how to disguise their "weather" spy balloon as a weather ball, we won't think anything of it. Shhh, nobody tell them the rhyme or poem.
- Terrible Potholes All Over Flint Roads. Some of our potholes are the size of craters on the moon or third world countries. Look, the Chinese Government is known to build roads, cities or massive hospitals in days & weeks. This one would just become an international embarrassment.
So, the next time you see a strange object in the sky, hide your important business. Or learn Mandarin (Chinese language) and paint a message telling them where to shove their "weather" balloon or "unidentified objects."