Police Arrest Man for Touching Himself by Pop Machine
You will not believe what police in Oklahoma City caught Marshall David Osbrone Mountain Dew-ing to his body.
KOCO reports officers arrested the 31-year-old man last month after they caught him pleasuring himself while hiding behind a pop machine in a grocery store.
Police had gotten a tip that a man was touching himself by the machine, located near the entrance to the store. When cops checked it out, they found Osbrone groping himself like a sugar-deprived person clutching a can of Coke. He was touching his body with his pants down around his ankles, police said.
Give Osbrone credit for finishing what he started. After he was processed at the local jail, an officer walked back over to find him touching himself again with his pants once more down around his ankles while he was handcuffed to a bench.