I'm a couple of days from cutting my own hair. Not that my shagginess ranks high on the list of issues associated with the COVID-19 crisis -- it's arguably very low -- but like many people right now, I'm long overdue for a haircut.

Remember the Flowbee? This gem was a haircutting system that was introduced in 1989. The Flowbee attached to a vacuum cleaner attachment in order to suck the hair tight away from the victim's head so internal blades could cut it evenly.

Thank God this thing didn't come out until after I graduated and was out on my own because my dad would have been ALL ABOUT IT. "We're gonna save so much money 'cuz I'm gonna cut you kids' hair," he would have said.

I wish now that I hadn't made fun of it so much fun of it back in the day. (There may or may not have been some drinking games while watching Flowbee infomercials on late-night TV in my younger years.)

Fast forward to the 2020 lockdown. Barbershops and salons are currently closed in order to mitigate the spread of coronavirus.

I wondered if a Flowbee might be a worthwhile investment. Until I pulled up a couple of infomercials on YouTube. No way. No way in hell. Not happening.

But if you really want one for yourself, there are several for sale on eBay. Most of the new ones start at over $100.

Enter your number to get our free mobile app