5-Year-Old With Cancer Has Hilarious Obituary, ‘Fun’ Funeral [VIDEO]
He wanted five bounce houses, in honor of his five years on earth. And he got it.
5-year-old Garrett Matthias was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer last year - rhabdomyosarcoma, which had attacked his temporal bone and inner ear, making it inoperable.
His family travelled from their home in Van Meter, Iowa, to Des Moines for treatment. Doctors and nurses said that Garrett was a prankster with one of his favorite items being a whoopee cushion. His nickname around the hospital was Garrett Underpants because he wasn't a fan of wearing underwear.
He decided that funerals are too sad, and that he wanted his to be fun, complete with bounce houses, Batman and snow cones.
He had 30 weeks of chemotherapy, but things took a turn for the worse. So, instead of his Make-A-Wish trip to Florida, they took him to the Omaha Zoo where he interacted with the gorillas.
All of this culminated into the most epic obituary and "celebration of life" that we've ever seen. The obituary reads:
Garrett Michael Matthias
AKA “The Great Garrett Underpants”
3/26/13 – 7/6/18
My name is: Garrett Michael Boofias
My birthday is: I am 5 years old
My address is: I am a Bulldog!
My favorite color is: Blue….and Red and Black and Green
My favorite superhero is: Batman…and Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk and Cyborg
When I grow up: I’m going to be a professional boxer
My favorite people are:
• Mommy, Daddy, my sister ‘Delcina’ (Delphina),
• The grandparents with the new house (Fredric and Cheryl Krueger),
• The grandparents with the camper (Daniel and Nita Matthias),
• My cousins: Grady, ‘that guy I took down that one time’ (Luke), and London Marie,
• My Auntie Janette and Stinky Uncle Andy (Andrew and Janette Krueger),
• Those two guys, you know, my uncles (Kristopfer Krueger and James Taylor)
The things I love the most: Playing with my sister, my blue bunny, thrash metal, Legos, my daycare friends, Batman and when they put me to sleep before they access my port
Things I hate: Pants!, dirty stupid cancer, when they access my port, needles, and the monkey nose that smells like cherry farts…I do like the mint monkey nose like at Mayo Radiation and that one guy that helped me build Legos (Randy)
When I die: I am going to be a gorilla and throw poo at Daddy!
Burned or Buried: I want to be burned (like when Thor’s Mommy died) and made into a tree so I can live in it when I’m a gorilla
Big or Small Funeral: Funerals are sad: I want 5 bouncy houses (because I’m 5), Batman, and snow cones
Emilie and Ryan Matthias will honor Garrett’s final wishes by having a Celebration of Life on Saturday, July 14th from 5pm – 11pm at 2377 132nd Ct Van Meter, Iowa
Note: Symbolic Asgardian burial ceremony and fireworks will be held just after sunset
A private burial of Garrett’s ashes will be held at a later time once his parents figure out how the hell to get his ashes made into a tree and locate a nature preserve, so his tree resides in a protected area.
Donations can be made directly to the family https://www.gofundme.com/garrett-mathiasmathias-family or in Garrett’s honor to a few of the many non-profits that helped Garrett along the way: The Little Al Foundation (https://www.littlealfoundation.com), The Pink Tractor Foundation (https://www.facebook.com/PinkTractorFoundation) and the University of Iowa Dance Marathon (https://dancemarathon.uiowa.edu)
We are so grateful to the many doctors, nurses, child life specialists, musicians, art therapists, and volunteers that worked tirelessly to cure Garrett of his cancer. The reality for Garrett and so many other children is pediatric cancer is an ugly, nasty beast that leaves a path of destruction. For Garrett and many others before him – cancer kills. Those that are ‘lucky’ enough to survive endure long term debilitating side effects and the constant fear of relapse. We will fight for a cure until no other kids are robbed of their childhood, no other siblings lose their best friends, and no other parents have to bury their babies.
Garrett endured nine months of hell before he lost his battle with cancer. During that time he never lost his sense of humor and loved to tease the doctors and nurses. From whoopy cushions and sneaking clothes pins on their clothes to ‘hazing’ the interns and new staff doctors, he was forever a prankster. Nothing caught people off guard as his response to ‘see ya later alligator’:
See ya later, suckas! - The Great Garrett Underpants