Your Child’s Milestone Has Been Ruined and It’s Ok to Be Mad
The year 2020 will forever be known as the year our well laid plans completely fell apart. From graduations, engagements, weddings and even pregnancies, major life milestone events have been ruined and I for one am mad.
I'm mad not for myself, but for my children. For me, 2020 was bringing the wedding of my oldest child. My son Chris was going to be my first child to be married. All of the planning was done and we were counting down the days. I had planned the shower for April and the wedding was set for May. Then reality kicked in.
Although they have moved their date to September, my heart still breaks for my son and for my future daughter-in-law. Something so special and so anticipated brought to a screeching halt. I found myself crying because his moment...her moment...was ruined and as any parent, when your child hurts, you hurt.
Then two weeks ago my oldest daughter FaceTimed me. She said, "Mom do you notice anything?" There on her hand was an engagement ring. My baby girl said yes. Thrilled is an understatement since we adore him. Then the sadness set in knowing she couldn't celebrate with family and friends. She wasn't able to show off her ring and hug her best friends as they toasted the happy couple. Her fiancé had planned on popping the questions surrounded by family and friends, but again the world changed.
My daughter and I now spend nights on the phone planning a wedding virtually. Looking at dresses and flowers online, and touring venues on Zoom. Her moment...her major milestone is "ruined" and there is nothing I can do as mom to fix it.
So I am, like so many of you, mad. Like those of you that can't watch your senior walk across that stage to receive their diploma. Like those of you about to be grandparents and are unable to hold that precious gift right away. Like those of you who have student athlete's that waited 4 years for that big senior season. Like those who that were to walk your little girl down the aisle as family and friends looked on. I am mad, and for awhile I felt like I was being selfish. I'm not. We aren't. It is perfectly ok to feel this way.
As a parent, from that first moment you hold our child you see a lifetime of "moments" flash before your eyes and spend years anticipating their arrival. Life threw the world a curve ball and as parents we are supposed to be able to fix it or at least explain it...and we can't. All we can do and love them, encourage them, and let them know their milestones are still so important and special no matter how they unfold.
In looking for that silver lining to the unique situation we find ourselves in, I told my daughter and son, "Think of this...what a story to tell your grandkids." What a story indeed.