Man to Men – This Has To Stop [OPINION]
Times have changed, rapidly. Even over my lifetime, and I'm barely cracking 40.
The first time I remember hearing the words "sexual harassment," or remember this being an issue, was Clarence Thomas. The now-Supreme-Court-justice was taken to task by Anita Hill during his confirmation hearings.
The next one that sticks out in my head is Bill Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
And then, nothing. Literally, for more than a decade.
One would've thought that, perhaps, men (especially those with power) figured out that harassing women is wrong. If the past year has proved anything, it's that I was woefully optimistic for all of the wrong reasons.
Let me start by saying this: I have PAINFULLY gone through interactions between myself and women, to the best of my memory, to figure out if I've ever crossed that "line." And, outside of what I would consider "normal" pursuance of women, I cannot remember a time in MY life that I have forced myself upon a woman. And I believe that most men are in my camp.
Unfortunately, the stories I'm hearing from women - nobody famous; just family, friends, acquaintances - show that my beliefs may be wrong. My wife was sexually assaulted. My ex-wife was raped. The list of lesser, yet still serious offenses, seem to come out of the mouths of most females I know.
They tell me stories of being groped in bars, digitally assaulted by unwanted pics of the male anatomy, spoken down to and objectified. What's worse is that women have been taught to accept this behavior from men, because it's just "boys being boys" or "locker room talk."
I've seen it in my own business of radio. There was a time when myself and AJ (as in Pat & AJ, as in this radio show) did the exact same job but were paid differently. AJ was once told that she wasn't the right fit to host an evening show on a radio station because women usually host middays (10 AM - 2 PM). I've seen it in the titles of radio shows - "Guy and Guy...with (insert female host here)." Sometimes, that's warranted - we all have separate talents - but to be honest, radio is a boys club. Luckily, it's changed slowly over the years, and I now work for several female managers whom I respect just as much as the male managers I've had.
I can't believe I have to say this, but let's all agree:
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS WRONG. SEXUAL ASSAULT IS WRONG.
It doesn't matter if it's a politician on your "side," or a politician on the "other side." It doesn't matter if it's your favorite comedian. It doesn't matter if it's your favorite actor. It doesn't matter if it's a sitting or past President.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS WRONG. SEXUAL ASSAULT IS WRONG.
Everybody should be held to the same standard, regardless of financial background, the generation you grew up in, sexual orientation, position in society, etc.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS WRONG. SEXUAL ASSAULT IS WRONG.
Finally, on to the victims (both women AND men): I believe them. You should believe them. It's not their fault. And if you think accusing somebody is easy, you're wrong. People who speak up are chastised to no end. Hence, why most accusers say NOTHING.
This isn't a problem with a certain race, a certain political party, a certain industry. This is a cultural problem that we've had for hundreds of years, and we've evolved enough as humans to put a stop to it. Congress has paid out more than $15 million to silence sexual assault victims. Chew on THAT for a second.
On our first date, I asked AJ if I could kiss her. The look on her face was PRICELESS. She told me, years later, that I was the first man to ever ASK before DOING IT. Apparently, my fear of rejection has led me to be a proper gentleman when courting a lady.
There's no way to wrap this up with a pretty bow, so I'll end with this: accusers are afraid of people who will discredit their claim, simply because they "like" the person they're accusing. If you're outraged about one, you should be outraged by ALL.