Woman Fed Up by Boyfriend’s Constant Mean-Spirited Jokes About Her
A woman on Reddit is fed up with her boyfriend's constant jokes at her expense, so much so that it's starting to ruin their relationship... even after they've been together for nearly three years.
"He has always been jokey, but it wasn’t ever an issue in our relationship until a couple months ago. My boyfriend started to joke toward me too much. It started with the occasional 'It’s a good thing you’re pretty' when I did something wrong or in a weird way (he got that from my mom) and 'Wow, you really are scatterbrained' when my ADD is bad and I forget things or forget to do something," she wrote, adding that she has asked him to stop and that his jokes make her cry and feel "sh---y" about herself.
"He stopped for a while, and things started to get better in our relationship again. Until the other day, when he walks into the apartment after work and sees that the kitchen was still a mess from the night before. He asked me why I didn’t clean it when I got home like normally. I responded that I had a bad day at work and just wanted to relax on the couch for a bit when I got home. Everything was fine after that," she shared.
"My boyfriend made dinner, we ate, and then I started to run water to wash the dishes. He comes into the kitchen and with a huge smirk says 'It’s about time you did your job,' before bursting into laughter. We got into a huge fight, with him telling me he obviously didn’t mean it that way and 'it was just a joke,'" the woman continued.
When she told him how much his "jokes" hurt her feelings, he laughed and called her dramatic. "The last thing I told him before going to run myself a bath to calm down was 'When all you do is make jokes about me towards me, it really starts to make me feel like that is how you actually feel about me.' He didn’t say much after that," she concluded.
Users in the comments urged the woman to seek couples counseling with her boyfriend.
"I think you got your point across. If he doesn't stop you may need to get couples therapy or rethink the relationship," one person wrote.
"Maybe a therapist will be able to help him figure out why he does it, or put a more firm foot down and tell him to stop, or both. And if not, then, yeah, it's relationship-ending worthy. It certainly would be for me," another commented.
"You've told him multiple times how it makes you feel. You've even cried when he's torn you down far enough. At some point you need to understand he doesn't care about you. He doesn't respect you. Do what you want with that information," someone else chimed in.