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Deadly Red Meat + Santorum Endorses English – Heller’s Monoblog

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It’s monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which.

  • A Harvard study last week said eating red meat will kill you. Which probably explains the beef industry’s new slogan: “Beef, the other white meat – only redder.”
  • I believe the study. Honestly, I do. And I think it’s wonderful that they’re warning us. But I do wish researchers would just cut to the chase and issue the ultimate study that says, “Face it, life is fatal.” Then we can all move on.
  • Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum is in hot water for saying Puerto Rico should get statehood only after the people there learn English first. Which sounds awful, but c’mon, be fair, the Pilgrims had to do it when they came here, so why not Puerto Ricans? (Think about it … think about it … aaah.)

Think you can do better? Well, then go ahead, bunky. Give it a shot in the comment section below. Crave more Heller? Check out my other blog.

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