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‘Twas The Night Before Christmas – ‘Twas Modernized

(Photo by Sherman/Three Lions, Getty Images)

Just for fun, I’ll share one of my son’s homework assignments with you.

The project was to rewrite “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” with a modern slant – How would it sound if it were written in 2010?  It actually turned into a fun family project!

Can you tell, teachers are also getting anxious for Christmas Break too?  Er, sorry, “Winter Break”…

It was December 24th, y’all!  And all up in my house,

The computer was turned off, even the mouse.

We put up the stockings, all with our names,

And hoped that Santa would bring video games!

All the kids were in bed, dreaming of toys

That Santa would bring to good girls and boys.

Mamma and I were both in our jammies,

Staying up late, on the phone with our grammies.

We heard a noise on the roof, and wondered, “Wassup?”

I ran to the yard, and then I looked up.

I couldn’t believe what I saw on the roof,

A dude in a red suit, acting like a goof.

The moon was bright, like the light of a Chevy,

When I got a good look, I could tell this dude was heavy.

I couldn’t believe, was it a sleigh towed by dogs?

No, those bikes were bad, they must have been Hogs!

He turned off the Harleys, and hopped out of the sleigh,

With a bag of toys, he quickly ran away.

I went back in the house, and turned on the TV,

And all of a sudden, the dude came down the chimney!

He fell in the fire, and he looked all a mess,

And I could just tell, he didn’t look his best.

I could tell by his gut, that he’d been overeating!

His diet was blown, I knew he’d been cheating.

He gobbled up the cookies, that the children left out,

And he had a white mustache, from the milk of a cow.

He put all the presents right under our tree,

An iPod, a cell phone, and the Soundtrack from Glee.

While you’d think he’d go back up the chimney to go,

He surprised me by simply walking out the door!

He hopped in his sleigh, the bikes started with a roar,

And off into the sky the fat man did soar.

As he took to the sky, I heard him shout,

“Merry Christmas, y’all – and y’all peace out!”

Did you know, “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” was originally published anonymously as “A Visit From St. Nicholas“?  Clement Clarke Moore later accepted credit for the poem, although there has been a bit of confusion over the years, as a relative of Moore’s wife, Henry Livingston, Jr., has also received credit for its creation.

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