This guy is lucky that he didn't become lunch. Really, REALLY lucky.

This is why we can't have nice things, folks. This moron was caught on video crossing a railing at the Los Angeles Zoo last week, and then proceeded to spank one of the hippos in the exhibit. The hippos are mother Mara and daughter Rosie. He spanks Rosie and as soon as Mara notices, he pumps his arms in some sort of totally ridiculous "victory" dance and then runs off.

Police are investigating the case as trespassing and not animal cruelty because the hippo didn't appear to be injured.

I'm just going to leave this video right here and say that this guy is very, VERY lucky that his little stunt didn't end badly. Hippos are enormous, dangerous animals.