A review of a local diner:


Dinner theater. No extra charge.

A review of a local nail salon:


We think anything over 244 hours is perfectly acceptable.

A review of a local moving company:

So negative. You know what you need? A friend. Lots of friends. Lots of big, strong friends.

A review of an area Walmart:


Relax. Martians need pajamas too.

A review of a Flint restaurant:


Rumors of their fish being good have been greatly exaggerated.

A review of a local car dealership:


Although a diet rich in fiber is good, we suggest you look for a vending machine.