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Osama bin Laden, Newt Gingrich + Marijuana – Heller’s Monoblog

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It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Three Good Jokes and One Bad One — You Decide Which is Which
  • A report this week said Osama bin Laden spent his last days in the middle of a nasty hen fight between his youngest wife and his oldest wife, who was described as “so aggressive that she borders on being intimidating.” Things were so bad, in fact, that Osama’s last words to the Navy Seals were, “Shoot me now – please!”
  • Instead of 12 virgins waiting for him in the great beyond, wouldn’t it serve him right if there were 12 of her? “Where have you been – out with that piece of trash young one again? Well, let me tell YOU something, mister. If you think I’m going to spend all eternity blah blah blah…”
  • Newt Gingrich’s campaign is turning to tweets with hashtags to give him ‘cred’ with young voters. But isn’t it a bit late? He’s not going to get the nomination. We all know that. His hashtag oughta be #donelikedinner.
  • And finally, Pat Robertson, the conservative TV preacher, says it’s time for the U.S. to legalize pot. And if that surprises you to the point of asking “What’s he been smoking,” well, I guess we know the answer, don’t we?

Think you can do better? Well, then go ahead, bunky. Give it a shot in the comment section below. Crave yourself more Andy? Point your browser to

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