We can't make this stuff up. Have you seen this woman? 

I just can't get over her Grinch-like grin while she's stuffing the contraband in her purse. The woman was very obviously recorded pilfering the delicious-but-not-nutritious drunk food into her brown purse at the Town & Country Supermarket in Pinconning.

Look, there's nothing funny about stealing. I think it's her "I don't care if anybody sees me" demeanor and her "I'm super stoked to have all of these Hot Pockets" grin that has me doubled over.

But, in all seriousness, if you have any information about this Hot Pocket Hijacker (yes, that's what I'm calling her), please get in touch with the Pinconning Police Department at 989-879-4270.