Flint's Best Mix » Heller’s Monoblog

Kids in Mensa & Dinosaur Gas – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:58:19 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. The high-IQ group Mensa has inducted two 2-year-olds. That makes me feel good. I couldn’t even answer the questions on “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” and now this. One [...]

'Time' Asks How Old is Too Old & Obama's Thoughts on Gay Marriage – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:11:48 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Three good jokes and one bad one ... or vice versa. You tell me.

Have you seen the Time magazine breast-feeding cover? The story asks how old is too old for

Secret Service + Romney Thanks GOP Canidates + Mexican Walmart – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:33:02 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Two good jokes and one bad one ... or vice versa. You tell me.

This Secret Service scandal has gotten so big that a Congressional subcommittee is now probing it. That’s the great th

Automotive Industry Saved + Underwear Bombs + Gay Marriage and Mullets – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 09 May 2012 18:04:12 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. Despite writing a New York Times commentary in 2008 saying the federal government should let Detroit go belly up, Mitt Romney this week took credit for saving the auto industry. That [...]

BMW 'Super Bike' vs The Octomom vs Mitt Romney – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 02 May 2012 18:25:18 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. In legal news, a man is suing BMW because he says his motorcycle seat gave him a two-year erection. Men everywhere are thinking, “Great, yet another reason for my wife not [...]

Gingrich is a Quitter + Obama & Clinton BFFs + Long Line to the Summer Olympics – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:24:27 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. Newt Gingrich said last week that he was preparing to quit the Presidential race this week. Don’t tell us you’re preparing to quit. Just quit. Like Dark Helmet told the crew in ‘Spaceballs’: “Your [...]

Buffet of Skittles Bought with Frozen Money? – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 17:21:04 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. President Obama is urging Congress to pass what he calls the Buffett Rule. Newt Gingrich was initially in favor of it. Then he realized Buffett didn’t mean food. An artist has [...]

Tax Extensions, Obama on Jay Z + Secret Service Agents in Columbia – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 18:31:05 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one … or vice versa. You tell me. Like 10 million other Americans, Mitt Romney has filed for an extension on his taxes. Most people want the extra time to figure out how much they owe. Romney needs it [...]

Trekkies + Missiles + Stooges – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:34:33 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. Last week in a meeting with a member of the original Star Trek cast, President Obama flashed the Vulcan salute. So apparently the race for the geek vote is now officially on. [...]

Santorum Out + Four Stooges? + Bye Best Buy – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:29:53 +0000

It’s a late night monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. Rick Santorum has pulled out of the presidential race. He said he wants to briefly catch up with his family then get right back to his life’s true calling – [...]

Mitt Romney a Winner + Seacrest to Bore at Olympics – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 12:55:52 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. Republican leaders are saying the race is over and Mitt Romney is the winner. Although to be honest, they sound like death row inmates on the way to the chair when they [...]

Bacon, Peanut Butter and Jelly + The Perfect Age? – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 21:09:35 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. A Seattle food company is selling a coffin that looks like bacon and has a bacon air freshener. It’s apparently designed for people who want to increase the odds that animals will [...]

Pink Slime + Snake Warning Devices + Obama on Economics – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 18:04:49 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which.

Wendy’s is running ads saying it’s never used the so-called “pink slime” beef filler. I guess that’

Obama vs NBA Fatherhood + Kim Kardashian's Infamy + Driving Keith Olbermann – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:46:27 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. According to one of his wives, Osama bin Laden fathered four children while on the run. That’s pretty good. Not NBA level, but good. One difference, though. In the NBA, they wait [...]

All About Obamacare – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 15:19:12 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. The Supreme Court continues deliberations today on Obamacare. Opponents are saying that if government can force you to buy health insurance it could also force you to buy other things, like broccoli. [...]

New Heart for Cheney + Biden Bid 2016 – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 17:29:03 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Three good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant over the weekend. Surgeons say it’s the first time they’ve ever seen a heart actually reject a patient before it was placed inside [...]

iPad 3 'Coffee Warmer' + Biden on bin Laden + John Carter – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:47:07 +0000

It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. Consumers Report says the new iPad 3 can get as hot as 116 degrees while playing games. Apple released a statement saying it’s not a flaw, it’s a built-in coffee warmer. Vice [...]

Tim Tebow Out + Half Priced Homes + Shoo Fly – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 15:50:06 +0000

It’s monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which.

Tim Tebow’s time in Denver is over after his trade to the New York Jets. Broncos fans are thanking God they had him for as long as they did. His receivers are thanking God, too, as in “Thank God, no more balls throw

Deadly Red Meat + Santorum Endorses English – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:49:12 +0000

It’s monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! Two good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which. A Harvard study last week said eating red meat will kill you. Which probably explains the beef industry’s new slogan: “Beef, the other white meat – only redder.” I believe the study. Honestly, [...]

Tide on the Black Market + Goldman Sachs Slammed + Steven Tyler has ADD – Heller's Monoblog

Andy Heller — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:10:56 +0000

It’s a late night TV show monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog! • Tide laundry detergent, according to the police, is being stolen across the country and sold on the black market for as much as $10 a bottle. There’s a black market for laundry soap? So right next to the guy on [...]