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Car Crisis Creates Comical Chaos [PHOTOS]

Anyone that knows me is very well aware of my notoriously bad luck, which is why I avoid casinos, the lottery, explosives and firearms.  But while dealing with my magnetic attraction with all things terrible, I always try to look for some humor.  Sometimes I have to really strain to find it, but most times it lands right in my lap.

I bought a car a few years back and later discovered that it was by far the worst decision I have ever made.  I won’t reveal where I bought it (e-mail me to find out where), but when I tried to trade it in I learned that I owe $11,000 on a vehicle that’s worth a whopping $900!

For the past few years I have been dealing with really bad tires, but didn’t have the money to replace them with new tires.  So I’ve been forced to buy used tires and simply hope for the best, however it became apparent over the last few weeks that my tires had become a ticking time bomb.  What tipped me off what the major shaking and vibration in the steering wheel that continued to get worse with each passing day.

I had made plans to get a brand new set of tires yesterday, but for reasons beyond my control I had to wait a day, just one day.  So I jokingly told my wife and a few friends that I was going to blow a tire last night.  Well guess what… BOOM!

While I was hosting My Trivia Live at The Point Bar & Grill last night, I noticed half way through the show that my front driver side tire was flat.  Because I have no problem with self-deprecating humor, I told the crowd what had happened.  I asked on the microphone if anyone could run me to Meijer after the show so I could pick up some Fix-A-Flat.  My friend Amy asked, “Oh no, is your battery dead?”  Needless to say, I had to share her comment with everyone else.  A few moments later, one of the players brought in the infamous tire repair-in-a-can, set it on my table and said, “Now you can fix your transmission!”

Following the show, I went out to my car with Amy, her sister Ashley and Ashley’s husband David.  I noticed that the can was pretty old since the label had faded, but I had to give it a try.  Having used Fix-A-Flat in the past, I knew something was strange when I heard something leaking as soon as I connected the hose to the tire.  Upon my attempt to inflate the tire, the hose erupted and I was suddenly covered in the sticky smelly gunk.

At that point, we decided to jack up the car try the spare tire.  The problem was I didn’t have a jack, so David grabbed one out of his car.  Once we had the front of the car off the ground, we tried removing the tire.  It wouldn’t budge.  Next, armed with a rubber mallet, we attempted to knock it off.  I thought I saw the tire move, but it was actually the whole car falling off the jack… almost severing Ashley’s foot in the process.

I then called my soon-to-be brother-in-law who showed up with a hydraulic jack and a sledge hammer.  Thankfully, I was good to go in less than five minutes.  On top of that, with the spare tire in place… the relentless shaking stopped.  Today, my friends at Kan Rock Tire set me up with a set of new tires with warranty for a remarkably good price!

I want to thank my friends Amy, Ashley, David, Mike and Ray for helping me get this problem taken care of.  At least I was able to laugh my way through it.  The moral of the story is: Stay away from me!  I am jinxed!  Bad luck follows me wherever I go!  Just look at my pool dilemma or my mailbox situation this year!

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