Or, if you don't care for O.J., just a list of things that have changed in the last nine years.

Yesterday, The Juice was granted parole after serving nearly nine years in a Nevada prison for theft of sports memorabilia. And yesterday, we all gathered around the TV, much like we did in the 90s, to see his fate revealed.

In case you missed it, he WAS granted parole. When he walks out the door, here are some things that will be new to The Juice:

1. A New President (two, actually) 

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When O.J. walked into prison in 2008, George W. Bush was still in office, and Barack Obama had become the president elect. But he might as well ignore politics now, since he is a convicted felon and cannot vote.

2. Social Media 

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In 2008, Myspace was still the dominant website in the growing world of social media, and Facebook was (at that point) still just used for connecting with old classmates. Twitter had just been introduced, with less than 100 users.

3. Smartphones 

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The first iPhone had just been introduced, and we were not convinced that we needed "all of that technology." We were also still using digital cameras. Now, we want MORE on our iPhones, and most of us ONLY have a camera...on our phone.

4. Amazon

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Oh, O.J. Wait til you find out about Prime. In the past nine years, Jeff Bezos and the crew at Amazon have revolutionized shopping with their two-day delivery service....including groceries, delivered within hours. You'll never have to leave your house again, and you probably shouldn't.

5. Hey O.J. - You've Had Not One, But TWO Hit TV Shows!

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O.J. has a lot of TV to catch up on...about himself. First is the five-part, 7.5 hour documentary O.J.: Made in America. I've watched it, it's awesome, highly recommend it. Second, in case he wants to relive the trial of the century, he watch Cuba Gooding Jr. play, well, HIM, in The People vs O.J. Simpson: An American Crime Story. 

Good luck, pal. We hope to never hear from you again.